Though entertaining enough, this play appears in its entirety as a small part of Sorrentino's magnum opus MULLIGAN STEW. You can read it as easily there as in this form. Plus you'll have the rest of Mulligan Stew as well. So I recommend you only buy this volume if you're the sort of collector who owns books because of what they are, not what they say.

No, we're not talking about The Masters. We're talking about fungo golf, baseball's wonderful adaptation of frisbee golf. For those of you unfamiliar with the rules, the general goal is to hit predetermined objects or other landmarks located somewhere on a baseball field with a ball. Instead of a golf club, you use a fungo bat. All normal scoring rules of golf still apply.
Many players "bone" their bats, meaning that before games, they rub their bats repeatedly with a hard object, believing this closes the pores on the wood and hardens the bat. Animal bones are a popular boning material, but rolling pins, soda bottles and the edge of a porcelain sink have also been used. Pete Rose had his own way of hardening his bats: he soaked them in a tub of motor oil in his basement then hung them up to dry.[25]
Baseball bats are made of either wood, or a metal alloy (typically aluminum). Most wooden bats are made from ash. Other woods include maple, hickory, and bamboo. Hickory has fallen into disfavor over its greater weight, which slows down bat speed, while maple bats gained popularity[5] following the introduction of the first major league sanctioned model in 1997. The first player to use one was Joe Carter of the Toronto Blue Jays.[6] Barry Bonds used maple bats the seasons he broke baseball's single-season home run record in 2001, and the career home run record in 2007.[6] In 2010, the increased tendency of maple bats to shatter has caused Major League Baseball to examine their use, banning some models in minor league play.[7][8]
A fungo bat is a specially designed bat used by baseball and softball coaches for practice. The etymology of the word fungo ( /ˈfʌŋɡoʊ/) is uncertain, but the Oxford English Dictionary suggests it is derived from the Scots fung: to pitch, toss, or fling.[26] A fungo is longer and lighter than a regulation bat, with a smaller diameter. The bat is designed to hit balls tossed up in the air by the batter, not pitched balls.[27] Typical fungo bats are 35 to 37 inches (89 to 94 cm) long and weigh 17 to 22 ounces (480 to 620 g). Coaches hit many balls during fielding practice, and the weight and length allow the coach to hit balls repeatedly with high accuracy. The small diameter also allows coaches to easily hit pop-ups to catchers and infielders along with ground balls due to better control of the barrel of the bat.
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Fungo golf is a game involving two or more players in which they use fungo bats and baseballs and their object is to hit certain objects at a field. Fungo golf is played very similar to golf, where the player with the fewest strokes after a certain number of holes (typically nine or eighteen) wins the game. While there is no concrete history of how fungo golf was created, it has spread throughout America as a popular game especially with baseball players and coaches.
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