Though entertaining enough, this play appears in its entirety as a small part of Sorrentino's magnum opus MULLIGAN STEW. You can read it as easily there as in this form. Plus you'll have the rest of Mulligan Stew as well. So I recommend you only buy this volume if you're the sort of collector who owns books because of what they are, not what they say.
A fungo bat is used by the coach to hit ground balls or fly balls to his team. All throughout high school and college many players use fungo bats to play fungo golf. This is when each person has a fungo bat and a baseball and they pick out targets around their field or complex and basically play it in the same manner as golf. Fungo bats should not be used to hit a pitched baseball because they are much weaker than normal bats and will break much much easier.

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Both wooden and metal alloy (generally aluminum) bats are generally permitted in amateur baseball. Metal alloy bats are generally regarded as being capable of hitting a ball faster and farther with the same power. However, increasing numbers of "wooden bat leagues" have emerged in recent years, reflecting a trend back to wood over safety concerns and, in the case of collegiate summer baseball wood-bat leagues, to better prepare players for the professional leagues that require wood bats. Metal alloy bats can send a ball towards an unprotected pitcher's head up to 60 ft 6 in (18.44 m) away at a velocity far too high for the pitcher to get out of the way in time. Some amateur baseball organizations enforce bat manufacturing and testing standards which attempt to limit maximum ball speed for wood and non-wood bats.[17][18][19]

A baseball bat is divided into several regions. The "barrel" is the thick part of the bat, where it is meant to hit the ball. The part of the barrel best for hitting the ball, according to construction and swinging style, is often called the "sweet spot". The end of the barrel is called the "top", "end" or "cap" of the bat. Opposite the cap, the barrel narrows until it meets the "handle". The handle is comparatively thin, so that batters can comfortably grip the bat in their hands. Sometimes, especially on metal bats, the handle is wrapped with a rubber or tape "grip". Finally, below the handle is the "knob" of the bat, a wider piece that keeps the bat from slipping from a batter's hands.


At bat Baltimore chop Bat flip Chinese home run Batting count Bunt sacrifice bunt slap bunt squeeze play Checked swing Cleanup hitter Designated hitter Double Double switch Foul ball Foul tip Golden sombrero Grand slam Ground rule double Hat trick Hit Hit and run Hit by pitch Hitting for the cycle Home run Infield hit Inside-the-park home run Leadoff hitter Lefty-righty switch Line drive Moonshot Plate appearance Platoon system Pull hitter Sacrifice fly Single Strikeout Strike zone Sweet spot Switch hitter Triple Walk Walk-off home run
Next, third base fungo hits to left, who throw to second, SS cuts (make a few of these the "cut off a double on a ball hit into the corner" variety - timing becomes important here, as the other fungo needs to hit many fewer balls than the fungo hitting to left). First base fungo hits to right, who come home, first baseman is cutoff, 60' from home (about pitchers mound - this postitioning puts him out of harms way should the SS overthrow second). On the throws home from right, make sure that they are the "normal" kind - hit the cutoff man, and don't hit too many. The right fielders will get to go again, as they're last throws will be the "do-or die" variety.
At bat Baltimore chop Bat flip Chinese home run Batting count Bunt sacrifice bunt slap bunt squeeze play Checked swing Cleanup hitter Designated hitter Double Double switch Foul ball Foul tip Golden sombrero Grand slam Ground rule double Hat trick Hit Hit and run Hit by pitch Hitting for the cycle Home run Infield hit Inside-the-park home run Leadoff hitter Lefty-righty switch Line drive Moonshot Plate appearance Platoon system Pull hitter Sacrifice fly Single Strikeout Strike zone Sweet spot Switch hitter Triple Walk Walk-off home run
Do this for about three minutes, then collect the balls and work on 5-3, 6-4, and 4-6 plays for another three minutes. This is followed by hitting balls to the 5-6 hole. If the third baseman doesn’t get it, he retreats back to third, and the shortstop flips to third for a force-out, rather than throwing across or turn a long double play. The other fungo batter hits balls to the second baseman, who works on throwing to first.
Secondly, the first base fungo hits balls to the third baseman, who turns a double play with the second baseman to the normal first baseman, while the third base fungo hits balls to the shortstop, who throws to a shortened deep firstbaseman (this means that the deep firstbaseman stands closer to the shortstop than normal, so that the throw across this infield is the correct distance - this does NOT mean that the deep man stands any closer to the normal first base position - this length should always be sufficient)
Helmet worn by batter to protect the head and the ear facing the pitcher from the ball. Professional models have only one ear protector (left ear for right-handed batters, right ear for lefties), amateur and junior helmets usually have ear protectors on both sides, for better protection from loose balls, and to reduce costs to teams (all players can use the same style of helmet).
A rounded, solid wooden or hollow aluminum bat. Wooden bats are traditionally made from ash wood, though maple and bamboo is also sometimes used. Aluminum bats are not permitted in professional leagues, but are frequently used in amateur leagues. Composite bats are also available, essentially wooden bats with a metal rod inside. Bamboo bats are also becoming popular.
Maple bats in particular were once known (circa 2008) to potentially shatter in a way that resulted in many sharp edges, sometimes creating more dangerous projectiles when a bat broke.[9][13] Maple bat manufacture evolved significantly, in cooperation with Major League Baseball,[11] paying special attention to grain slope, and including an ink spot test to confirm safest wood grain orientation.[11]
No, we're not talking about The Masters. We're talking about fungo golf, baseball's wonderful adaptation of frisbee golf. For those of you unfamiliar with the rules, the general goal is to hit predetermined objects or other landmarks located somewhere on a baseball field with a ball. Instead of a golf club, you use a fungo bat. All normal scoring rules of golf still apply.
Many players "bone" their bats, meaning that before games, they rub their bats repeatedly with a hard object, believing this closes the pores on the wood and hardens the bat. Animal bones are a popular boning material, but rolling pins, soda bottles and the edge of a porcelain sink have also been used. Pete Rose had his own way of hardening his bats: he soaked them in a tub of motor oil in his basement then hung them up to dry.[25]
Maple bats in particular were once known (circa 2008) to potentially shatter in a way that resulted in many sharp edges, sometimes creating more dangerous projectiles when a bat broke.[9][13] Maple bat manufacture evolved significantly, in cooperation with Major League Baseball,[11] paying special attention to grain slope, and including an ink spot test to confirm safest wood grain orientation.[11]
To figure out who shoots first, players usually throw or roll a baseball to a certain object (usually at close range) and whoever is closest shoots first. The first person then gets to choose the first hole and tees off. To tee off (and for most shots) players hit the ball like they were playing baseball, but depending on the distance from the hole the player may choose to ‘putt’ the ball instead of hitting it. To putt the ball, the player places the ball on the cup (the end of the fungo bat), and can toss the ball from the cup in hopes of getting a more accurate shot.[1] In shooting or putting, the player must have one foot where the ball landed during the entire duration of their swing or putt, failure to keep the foot planted results in a loss of a stroke. Scorekeeping is identical to traditional golf; the player with the fewest strokes essentially wins the hole.[2] Players traditionally play nine or eighteen holes of fungo golf, and at the end the person with the fewest strokes in the set number of holes wins the game.[3]
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