Though entertaining enough, this play appears in its entirety as a small part of Sorrentino's magnum opus MULLIGAN STEW. You can read it as easily there as in this form. Plus you'll have the rest of Mulligan Stew as well. So I recommend you only buy this volume if you're the sort of collector who owns books because of what they are, not what they say.

Once the basic bat has been turned, it has the manufacturer's name, the serial number, and often the signature of the player endorsing it branded into it opposite the wood's best side. Honus Wagner was the first player to endorse and sign a bat. Next, most bats are given a rounded head, but some 30%[citation needed] of players prefer a "cup-balanced" head, in which a cup-shaped recess is made in the head; this lightens the bat and moves its center of gravity toward the handle. Finally, the bat is stained in one of several standard colors, including natural, red, black, and two-tone blue and white.
Padded support shorts sometimes worn to protect the thighs when the player slides into the bases. Some sliding shorts contain a pocket for a protective cup. This is so the player does not have to wear a jockstrap and sliding shorts at the same time, although many players find the cup is held in place better by wearing it in a jockstrap under sliding shorts.
How the bat is made is what differentiates it from the typical regulation bat used by major league players. In addition to being lighter and thinner, the bat is also much longer compared to the normal bat. It ranges between 35 – 37 inches in terms of length. In terms of weight, the bat weighs between 17 – 22 ounces. Of great importance to note is the fact that the bat features a bigger barrel than the normal ones. Since it’s flatter and features a small diameter, it’s ideal when it comes to hitting ground balls as well as pop flies. This would be necessary during the fielding practice of any team regardless of the level.
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Fungo bats are usually 36 or 37 inches long.  Due their thinner, lighter design, they are a very versatile tool for any coach. It is so much easier to hit hundreds of grounders and fly balls with a fungo than with a regular bat.  As well, with the prices of today’s top end bats, a $35 fungo makes more sense. Don’t dent the $350 war clubs in your bat bag.
Versatile fungo bats are the ones tailored for both outfield and infield practice. Infield bats are effective for those that desire to rip their ball to the young ball hawks. These bats are thicker and heavier through the center in order to give you more oomph. Thicker bats work better especially to softball coaches to hit bigger balls utilized for softball.
Many players "bone" their bats, meaning that before games, they rub their bats repeatedly with a hard object, believing this closes the pores on the wood and hardens the bat. Animal bones are a popular boning material, but rolling pins, soda bottles and the edge of a porcelain sink have also been used. Pete Rose had his own way of hardening his bats: he soaked them in a tub of motor oil in his basement then hung them up to dry.[25]
Before we get started, we have to define the word "fungo" or "fungoes." To summarize, fungo (fungoes for plural) is a ball tossed into the air by the batter and struck as it comes down during practice sessions.  If you are a coach, you are more than likely familiar with a fungo bat. Or, if you are a player who has ever worked on ground balls or pop-flys in practice, you should know what a fungo bat is, as well. For the rest of us, a fungo bat might as well be a foreign object. What is that oddly shaped, extra long practice bat? So, let's answer the most common fungo bat questions:
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